My best friend is pretty amazing. We share laughs, tears, we've been though ups and downs, and she's ALWAYS the first person I go to with dating advice. So when she posted this in the #BabeSquad today I messaged her right away and said "I NEED to post that! Women need to hear it!" So today, one of my best friends, Shannon, is our guest blogger... and now you're all going to see why I love her so much!!
Ladies...there are a lot of single babes in here. Dating is a huge part of my life. I want to talk about with those of you trying to find your way to love. First, I have dated. A lot. And my friends can attest to it. So I do feel l have some perspective to share. So here is the deal....
❤️ 1. Love me or hate me for saying this - you will only date what you are ready for. Don't argue this. It's a fact. You will attract what you project. I'm sorry if that's harsh but I can say it because when I was a rats ass mess, I attracted...well...rats asses. It doesn't mean you are actually a rats ass - it just means you have got to get right with you before you attract your little dream.
❤️❤️ 2. Dating is hard and beautiful and scary and NECESSARY. If you are at this point of single womanhood, it's time to figure out you and one of the greatest ways to do so is to explore your soul through the view of others. You may not like that either and that's ok. But allow the experience to be a mirror and reflect on what bounces back and improve, fix, beautify inside and out. Just do it.
❤️❤️❤️ 3. Men are just as scared. It's just as hard for them. Men get duped too. Men want the same things. Men want different things. They are trying. We are all trying. We are all growing and all falling. Give them a break. Try to see that their weirdness in dating could actually be them having no fucking clue what to do and how humiliating for them to know that. Be a friend if possible.
❤️❤️❤️❤️ 4. Stop assuming. Just stop. Stop assuming that they will think you are a whore if you sleep with them. Stop assuming they must call you the next day if you sleep with them. Stop thinking they didn't call because you had cellulite on your ass. Stop assuming they are the enemy because they felt your cutchata. Just stop. Are there douches? Yes. But there are also 10 million other reasons you didn't get a call back and none of which may equal douchery.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 5. Be your definition of a lady in the dating game - whatever that definition is. Be true to it. Be kind and be ready to receive. If you walk into a communication defensive and harsh and prepping a battlefield, get ready to dance with a soldier. He is fighting through the craziness too remember. It's a date - not a war zone. Stop walking in with your fighting gloves on. Unless you want a fight. It's a date. It's just a date.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 6. Dates mean you meet someone for probably the first time. You are weeding through a universe to even find a friend, a little chemistry. Let it be what it is. The universe will help you when it's meant to be more. Calm down and breathe.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 7. Take care of you. Get your body right physically. Get your head right mentally. Get your soul right gently. Clean your house. Put your demons in a closet for date night so you can have a beautiful inspiring conversation. I don't mean turn into a supermodel superhuman faker but you are dating. It's about attraction. I don't care if you say you normally don't fix yourself up and a dude should take you for what you are. No he shouldn't and stop it. Put effort in and care and project that you are amazing. And it's not a size or a weight. A plus size put together beauty could have way more success in dating than a messy svelte athlete who is argumentative and negative. It's about putting pride into you so someone else will honor you. So get your head, your spirit, your body, and your health straight or at least show you are trying.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 8. Men will reach back to you if they want you. Truth. However, also know it's ok to be the first one to text back after a date. Do so with confidence if this is what you want. But don't chase. Allow a man to be a man and if a man wants you a man comes for you. Period. Don't chase. Hold your value.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 9. Have fun. Have fun. Have fun.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 10. If what you are doing isn't working, take responsibility and review and fix. Fix. Stop blaming. Fix and go back out.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 11. Rejection is part of it. You will reject men too. Keep going. Keep going.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️12. Find the newer, better, most amazing version of you in this.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 13. Embrace your sexuality. You are not a scared little teenager. You are a woman. If you want to have sex, have sex like an adult. If you want to keep your legs closed, close up shop. Do it your way and do it safe and don't blame or bitch about consequences either way. It's your vagina. Take ownership of it.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️️ 14. Review your attributes, physical and other and fall in love with them. Seek out men who love those attributes. If you are a short curvaceous woman with a big ass and huge boobs (eehhem me lol) and you want to date a dude whose profile says he only likes stick straight skinnies who are 6 feet tall, just know you probably will feel rejection from that.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 15. Know you have the right to reject, say no, not answer a message, ignore a text....again take ownership.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️16. Know that you have been given a chance as a woman to enjoy every bit of who you are today. Now. In your prime. Love it. Enjoy it. This is your time.
If you have any amazing women in your life that are either just starting out dating again after a long term relationship or divorce, or are struggling with dating, be sure to share this with them and help a sister out!
Peace, Love, Glitter & F Bombs
3/6/2018 05:24:29 pm
I definitely needed this loveee it
4/21/2018 05:07:01 am
You hit it on the nail for me with these 16 things on dating. I appreciate it and working on me for myself thanks again
8/17/2018 08:40:54 pm
Excellent! Very well stated.
2/7/2019 10:34:48 am
I ❤️ All of this so hard!
3/27/2019 08:18:07 pm
This was a must read for all single ladies. Thanks for writing this and putting me back on track!
7/16/2019 03:03:58 am
Wow,that was amazing.I needed to hear that.
12/30/2020 02:11:47 pm
I enjoyed readiing this
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Your girlfriends' guide to dating, sex and relationships in your 30's and 40's