8 Ways to survive a breakup...

​w/out losing your shit.

Breakups suck. It doesn't matter if you're the one doing the breaking up or you're the one getting dumped. It isn't easy for anyone. And it's super easy to get caught in a downward spiral after one. So I wanted to share some of my best tips on how to survive a breakup to make it suck a little less and have you come out a sparkly new person on the other side!

​After my divorce, I really reconnected with who I was. My relationships with my girlfriends became closer. I didn't realize this when I was married, but as much as I love being with someone, falling asleep next to them, and having that connection, I also really crave my alone time and down time. I love the excitement of city life and living downtown. My environment and home really affect my mood and my creativity, both positively and negatively, depending on my surroundings. I love my freedom and being able to pick up and travel on a moment's notice. I like being independent and not having to answer to anyone. 

After a recent breakup I realized I had started to let these slip away. I lost focus on my goals and my wants and needs and got swept up falling in love. It took this break and this time away for me to really sit back down and get realigned with my own priorities again. 

​So how do you survive a breakup without losing your shit? 

Before you do anything, this is super important.... find your most evolved bitches.
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The most important thing is to surround yourself with the most amazing and inspiring women you know.

​Not the ones who are going to throw your ex under the bus any chance they get. Not the misery loves company ones who are pros at man hating (and, well, life hating and playing the victim). But the ones who are truly there to guide and support you. The ones who will be there for you, but will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. I'm really good at isolating myself when shit hits the fan. I did that for my entire divorce. I will NEVER do that again. My tribe is now my everything and they've helped me grow so much as a person. 

​This is where you get to really take the time to figure out who YOU are and not only what you want out of life, but how you want to FEEL. ​​You don't need to do everything listed below, but doing as many as you can will definitely help you to start feeling better! 

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1. Buy yourself flowers - This is something super simple and will definitely help to brighten up your space! 
2. Commit to Personal Development - Personal Development (or PD) is anything that's going to make you grow as a person. You can read, listen on audio books, attend live seminars, watch YouTube videos, whatever works for you! Be sure to check out my list of the Top 12 books for kick ass women for suggestions! 
3. Focus on your fitness - Find a workout program that makes you feel alive and a meal plan that you can stick to (Be sure to let me know if you need help choosing one!) The better you take care of your health, the better you'll feel! 
4. Book a Botox appointment (or hair appointment or massage or facial or pedicure or whatever!) - So simple, and it will make you feel better in a week once it takes effect. 
5. ​ Make an online dating profile - Don't get too hung up on this one. I know dating is probably the last thing on your mind right now and that's ok. Sign up, see what's out there. The point of this is to use it as a distraction... you can even delete the app an hour later if you like. 
6. KonMarie your space - Say what? I picked up the book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up a couple years ago, but didn't read it until recently. Basically, you pull everything out of your closet and dressers (or cupboards or shelves or whatever, depending on which room you're working on) and one by one you hold everything in your hands and ask yourself "Does this item bring me joy?" If yes, keep it. If no, toss or donate it. The book explains in great detail how to put everything back super organized so it doesn't get crammed back in your drawers the same way it came out. This was HUGE for me as my clothes have always been a big source of stress. I ended up donating 6 bags of clothes and a couple months later I'm still 100% organized. Doing this really brings new life and energy into your space, and, just like creating an online dating profile, it's a great post-breakup distraction... and something you have control over.
7. Book a weekend trip with your girlfriends - I booked a trip to Annapolis to see my best friend, two friends wanted to tag along, so we turned it into a road trip, and we had another friend come up from DC to hang with us. We went to dinner at a winery, got pedicures, did aerial yoga, each got an unalome tattoo (be sure to google the meaning because it couldn't have been more perfect!) and drank way more wine than we should have. lol But it was a weekend to connect, relax and just have fun.
8. Fill your schedule with things you've wanted to try - Always been curious about taking a pole fitness class? Want to run your first 5k or mud run? What about a paint and wine night with some friends? Comedy show? Guitar lessons? Now is the time to get it on your schedule! 

Instead of focusing on what you're losing in your relationship, this is when you really want to focus on what POSITIVE aspects you're going to add to your life (and this could be different for everyone!) This is the time to really focus on yourself, both mentally and physically. ​And remember, you can only control the controllable. Take it one day at a time and shower yourself with as much love as possible. 

​Hang in there, gorgeous!
​xoxo