11 Live Lessons I've Learned from Dating

(that can be used in everyday life)
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I remember the first time I messaged a friend before a first date saying "I think this is the first guy who's out of my league. I'm a little intimidated."

​As women we're taught to believe that men have their shit together, that they have it all figured out, and that we're the emotional messes who are struggling through life.

What that relationship, and the ones that followed, taught me is that we're all human. We ALL have insecurities and doubts, we can all get in our own heads, we all have past shit we're trying to deal with, and (for the most part) we're all doing the best we can. Realizing that took so much of the typical nervousness out of dating for me. It leveled the playing field. And it allowed me to take people of the pedestals I had put them on.

Three years of online (and sometimes meeting IRL) dating has taught me a lot about myself, what I want, what I don't want, and what I tend to ignore. (Hello, red flags! Remember, we're all a work in progress! lol)

​Here are some common themes I've found over the years that also translate into the non-dating world!
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1. No matter how put together someone seems, we all have our own set of insecurities and things that keep us up at night. NO ONE has their life figured out.
2. People tell you who they are, you just need to listen. Stop justifying their behavior.
3. Everyone is busy. You have time for what you make time for.
4. You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person and the right thing to the wrong person.
5. Trust your intuition, that bitch knows what’s up.
6. If someone wants to see you, they will.
7. If you haven’t told someone how you feel about something they’re doing that’s bothering you, you haven’t earned the right to complain about it to others.
8. A little effort goes a long way.
9. Ask questions. Focus on being interested, not interesting.
10. Past behavior, not words, determines future behavior. Watch for patterns, not smooth talk.
11. Be honest about how you feel and your expectations. You may tell yourself you’re protecting the other person’s feelings and that you don’t want to hurt them, but you’re only choosing the easy road for yourself.

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You know I'm all about using shifts in perspective to change your habits and views, so I hope this helps!

What are some common themes you've come across while dating? And what are some of your patterns you're noticing? Drop them in the comments below!